The post I wrote on blogging two days ago started a discussion among my Grandmother, my Mom, and my sister. My post talked of point of view, on how your mood when writing an article affects your choice of person. They quickly got into a discussion on how, while second person is better for “How To” articles, first person is better for expressions of one’s feelings.
Although this is a completely valid point, one that goes along with the point I raised in my post “The Trouble with Blogging,” I started to get annoyed. A few of my poems are written in second person, and I took what they said personally.
I reacted rather strongly, “This is what I don’t like about blogging, people always want to change everything to suit themselves. Why don’t you just start blogs of your own?”
Later my grandma said I shouldn’t have taken it so personally. I pondered that for a while.
When I write a poem, I put my heart and soul in their entirety into it. It is as much a part of me as my arms or legs. The most painful part of blogging will always be that people may unknowingly take it cheaply. And it isn’t their fault, for they don’t know what it is to put yourself, all of yourself, into such a simple median, a few paragraphs, a sonnet. Something that is so prone to flaws or grammar and spelling.
Perhaps even I didn’t realize how much I put into those poems until now. When someone talks of my poetry, or even something unknowingly related with my poetry, I can’t help but take it personally.
The moral of the story? There are a few. Don’t take anyone’s work cheaply, especially if you know what it can feel like. Accept your lessons and move on, learn from them and don’t try to blame others, seek to understand them.
And keep writing. Always keep putting your Heart and Soul in, every single time.
Although this is a completely valid point, one that goes along with the point I raised in my post “The Trouble with Blogging,” I started to get annoyed. A few of my poems are written in second person, and I took what they said personally.
I reacted rather strongly, “This is what I don’t like about blogging, people always want to change everything to suit themselves. Why don’t you just start blogs of your own?”
Later my grandma said I shouldn’t have taken it so personally. I pondered that for a while.
When I write a poem, I put my heart and soul in their entirety into it. It is as much a part of me as my arms or legs. The most painful part of blogging will always be that people may unknowingly take it cheaply. And it isn’t their fault, for they don’t know what it is to put yourself, all of yourself, into such a simple median, a few paragraphs, a sonnet. Something that is so prone to flaws or grammar and spelling.
Perhaps even I didn’t realize how much I put into those poems until now. When someone talks of my poetry, or even something unknowingly related with my poetry, I can’t help but take it personally.
The moral of the story? There are a few. Don’t take anyone’s work cheaply, especially if you know what it can feel like. Accept your lessons and move on, learn from them and don’t try to blame others, seek to understand them.
And keep writing. Always keep putting your Heart and Soul in, every single time.
As someone who has shared her poems and wirings with others, I can certainly relate to what you speak of here.
ReplyDeleteWhen we pour SO MUCH of ourselves into our poetry, and other writings, it can certainly hurt if we begin to take critiques as a reflection that others do not value what we've already written.
I think your grandmother gave you a very helpful observation when she said that you had taken their experiences of your writings too personally. You did, after all, ask us all for our views, and so we are offering them to you. Of course, poets are very sensitive people!
My advice would be that you realize that when we ask others to critique our writing we make ourselves vulnerable.
As you do this, understand that human beings experience the writings of others on various levels: emotional, intellectual, psychological, editorial, grammatical, etc. Your family was making an editorial suggestion, but that does not mean that they did not value your writings other dimensions. It does not mean that they saw what you had produced "cheaply" simply because they offered their views of how it could be stronger.
I know how much of one's heart and soul one pours into one's poetry, Bali, as I have also been writing poetry since I was young. It takes courage and I congratulate you for having it!
A poet's expressions are like a record of our inner journey. They are very personal and private, and when we share that with others we can often feel exposed and unappreciated if we do not get the kind of appreciation we had hoped for. Or we can feel misunderstood.
I suggest you have no expectations when you share your writings. Just share freely, and be open to however people react, and whatever critiques they offer. Especially the hardest ones.
The hardest one for me was when two of my best friends took all the poems I had given them (which I had written as a teenager), and threw them out in the trash can, telling me: "We didn't think your old poetry represented who you are today, so we threw it out. I hope you don't mind".
Can you imagine if someone did that to you? Imagine how it would make you feel. Needless to say I was shocked and devastated, because I had poured my heart and soul into those poems. To continue your own colorful analogy, I felt like they had just amputated all my limbs without any anesthesia! OUCH! But, I had to realize that my friends meant no harm by it.
Similarly, the people you have invited to witness your daily blog journey mean no harm. We are here to help and support, and hopefully offer you some alternative views that may strengthen your work. We do so because we value your writings, and don't find them to be in the least bit "cheap".
And we respect how vulnerable you are when you share yourself so uninhibitedly with us, by continuing to bravely pour all of yourself into you're written expressions. There is really no other way to write.
The best writing always comes from our heart and soul. So keep it up! You are doing great!
We learn about our shortcomings when we can realize this